We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
