I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
