omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
