Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
where are my eyebrows?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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