We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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