do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
