what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
