I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
