Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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