Please don't use social media to get back at me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
