When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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