He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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