No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
