wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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