if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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