you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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