I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
In America we eat man semen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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