Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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