glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
