And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
