I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
