I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
