Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
