Ambien. No doubt about it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
