i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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