just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
