I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's never too late to be topless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
