My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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