ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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