i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
