So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
