I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
