I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
