Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
