Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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