I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
