I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You may now shotgun with the bride
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
