At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
