He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize