I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
