As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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