Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
