today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
