Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
