This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize