one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
