Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
