i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize