worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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