just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want to make out with him forever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
