We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize