If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
