Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
