At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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