So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
