My pussy is not your playground.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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