Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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