I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
