You're completely useless in the revolution.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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