she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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