My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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