So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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