who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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